Siblings, in-laws or close friends might be the source of a current drama that begs for your involvement. However, if the circumstances are peripheral to you, it may be best to keep them that way. Your worry over something that doesn’t directly concern you could be motivated by your own unresolved issues. It’s best not to complicate the situation by adding your stuff to it. Establish a clear boundary and stick to it. Rick Levine Sunday, July 27, 2008
Without going into detail that will get me pilloried, I’m in an extended family that shares a large piece of lakeside property. Other than summertime, I have no contact with them–but in summer, no choice.
Ten years ago my cousin, who I swear must have been dropped on his head as a baby, attempted to beat up my dad who was in his sixties at the time. My cousin brought a small angry mob w/him and the police were called to diffuse the situation. What made matters worse is that my dad’s sister egged on the obviously drunk “mob.”
The rift between the three families has only grown wider as the years have passed. I was in no way involved in the situation which took place at the lake–I was up here but had gone with my spouse and younger son for ice cream. What made matters worse was that the nut-job cousin had a gun, too. So when we arrived home unknowing there was that element, too<eyeroll>.
I live far from here and don’t get up anywhere near as often as I’d like. Nut-job cousin lives pretty close as does the rest of the extended family so they can easily come up for the weekend or even just a day.
They were here this weekend and as is their habit drank themselves silly and got very loud and obnoxious over their bonfire. I remained in my cottage, probably about 150 feet from them. I turned up the new local radio station and even danced around, enjoying a Baileys and iced coffee. As the night wore on the temperatures dropped and I began closing the many windows in my cottage including the ancient, noisy, cumbersome ones in the screened-in porch, which was the closet point to the party.
Nut Job had to say something directed at me. hahaha.
I decided to have another Baileys and before I knew it I was telling them that they were “not nice” and that I dared them to come over and face me directly. I think the word coward was in there as well. They were so drunk and loud, with music playing and motorboats on the lake that they probably didn’t even hear me let alone make out what I was saying. Just the same, it felt good to holler out the feelings of frustration that this family has provoked. I could have done much worse and I’m glad that I didn’t allow them to fully pull me in.