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The question de jour is:

Is there a difference between having a closed committed relationship between three people and having an open relationship?

That’s an intriguing and loaded question. Certainly there are many ways to view  polygamous relationships and I imagine each one is unique in it’s own way.

The Split-Self series characterizes one such novel’s romance as. “Not a threesome, not a love triangle, a polyamorous relationship between one girl and two guys. Boy likes girl, boy also likes boy… girl thinks that’s hot.”

This is all hypothetical but for me, no, I could not get into being with a guy who was in love with another guy–but I don’t think I could wrap my head around being with a guy who loved another women, either. And  to take this a step more deeply, let’s suppose a potential triad or “poly” relationship was closed, committed relationship between three people?

I can’t imagine slapping a label on it and calling it wrong. That’s just narrow thinking. Wrong for whom?

Whatever is done between consenting adults, provided that each is fully aware which is is a piece of the the consenting part–knowing what you are consenting to, and does not cause real harm to anyone…I just cannot condemn that because I wouldn’t do it. Some people would do it, some people simply would love to read about it and may or may not consider actually bring fantasy to life.

I do believe it is possible to love–in a romantic way–more than one person at once. Who you love is not a logical choice. It’s matter of the heart and the heart does not have a brain so the choice may not reflect a great deal of thinking-through. OTOH,  some people are able to compartmentalize their emotions and their reasons and make choices that seem to take into account both ways of looking at the situation. Perhaps this is the most healthy way to assess a love relationship, especially when making any lasting choice.

I can say this with certainty. The traditional love and marriage thing is not for me. I think there has to be something better, something that does not drag the church and the state into my bedroom.  I’m not a church-goer and I rail against the entity that governs us telling us how to love–and for that matter whom to love.

So what about you? Do you believe that there a difference between having a closed, committed relationship between three people and having an open relationship? Do you have any comment on my opinions? What are your beliefs about love and partners and right and wrong? Tell me in the comments!

More about Split-Self: “Split-Self is a new serial put out by F.S. Publishing that reinvents the ,chicklit genre with wit, humor and a slight touch of cynicism. Split-Self is a novel of a romance between three. Not a threesome, not a love triangle, a polyamorous relationship between one girl and two guys. Boy likes girl, boy also likes boy… girl thinks that’s hot.”